Question about the section your master wrote about Sadism. At the end he writes he “wants to invade her” or something like this. Is the invasion a prize for the suffering or supposed to be the pinnacle of the suffering?

keepingher:

keptmathilda:

Reference

That’s actually a good question. Thanks for this Ask, I like it. But it’s a very complex one, so this is going to be a rather long post….

1) ‘Prize’ / Reward

No, the fucking after torture is not meant as a ‘prize’, as a reward for me. It’s for His pleasure and satisfaction, not mine, it’s me presenting a hole, usually my pussy, for Him to use. Not that I wouldn’t like it to be fucked by Him, of course I do, very much so, but that’s not the point. First I don’t cum from penetration and I’m not allowed to touch myself without permission so I don’t have an orgasm in these situations. Second, to ‘reward’ me for enduring pain for Him would completely defeat the purpose of His torture, for the both of us and in two different ways.

a) Giving me a prize for my endurance would ‘de-rank’ His torture from a part of our life to a scene, would make it a kinky game, more of a role-play than a real expression of my devotion. You get a ‘prize’ for playing or winning (in this case ~ successful endurance) a game (~ the torture), not for living your life. But Him torturing me is not a game or a scene or a ‘session’ or a role play for us. When Vanillas have (vanilla-) sex, nobody would consider this a scene or role play where the man ‘plays’ a man having sex with his woman and the woman ‘plays’ a woman having sex with her man. And in the end reward themselves for finishing it. They are a man and a woman having sex. And the sex itself has its own meaning and reward within itself. And we are a Master and a slave torturing/serving. And the torture itself has its own meaning and reward within itself. Where no game, there can’t be a ‘prize’.

b) I have to do it for Him. It has to be an altruistic act of surrender and sacrifice. If I would do it to get rewarded, my endurance of His torture would become a selfish act, something I do for my own benefit. But that I’m doing it for Him is a huge part of what gives Him pleasure about it (and that it gives Him pleasure gives me indirectly pleasure too, so in the end it’s not completely altruistic anymore but I skip this ‘does altruism even exist?’ discussion here for the sake of readability/the extent of this post).

In any case… No, it is NOT to reward me. It’s not a ‘prize’.

2) ‘Pinnacle of the suffering’

No, it’s not meant to (continue to) make me suffer, as the torture’s ‘finale’, either. I may still happen to be in pain because my body still hurts from the beating before or because, for example, I still wear nipple clamps or I’m still restrained in an uncomfortable position, but He doesn’t actively hurt me during sex. In fact He doesn’t care if I’m hurt or not in this situation, it just doesn’t matter. Well, since our ‘depth-length-quotient’ is, like for most couples, below zero, He still potentially actively hurts me while fucking me, simply by fucking me, but that’s nothing He does on purpose, He doesn’t mean to fuck me especially hard or does anything else to me in order to hurt me during sex as a method to continue/‘complete’ the torture.

Like I said above, it’s about His sexual satisfaction in this moment and not at all about me so He just does what He feels like doing (~ using my body as a tool to make Himself cum) and whatever causes that for me – be it pleasure or pain – is just an unintentional, unavoidable side effect that has no meaning to Him.

So no, it’s NOT meant to be (another form or the continuation of) torture either.

*******

So if it’s not meant to reward me and not meant to hurt me, not meant to cause me pain nor pleasure… what is it then?!

To be honest I think the main purpose for Him is simply … getting off. To inflict pain on me, to play with my body, see me suffer, hear me whine etc is something very arousing for Him so after this there’s a lot of sexual energy that needs to be vent. Also does it get Him hard of course to hurt me. It’s probably really as simple as that for the most part (? @keepingher).

But there are certainly underlying psychological aspects that play a role too. I’m not a sadist nor a man nor a mindreader, so I can’t know for sure which ones exactly, but it’s probably something like this – and my Master will hopefully correct me where I’m wrong or missing something:

a) It’s an expression of Ownership. It’s the physical translation of / it’s a ‘thrusted’ You. Are. My. Pro. Per. Ty. – I. Fuck. Ing. OWN. You! (:

b) It’s an expression of Control. As in “What happens to you is under MY control and not yours. You don’t decide what I do to you – I do!”

c) It’s about Power, about physical force. To ‘invade’ someone without asking for consent or approval beforehand, to just take is kind of a ‘violent’ thing to do. But I mean violent without the negative connotation, just as in overpowering someone physically, using physical strength and force to take something from someone for your own selfish pleasure.
(Of course He knows that He has my consent and if He would ask I would always approve of what He wants to do, this is just a subconscious, psychological thing, because what you say and what you don’t say does have an influence on the general atmosphere of a situation.)

d) It’s probably also kind of a Closure of the whole activity. Like the last chapter to end things. But at least from my side that’s not necessary, it wouldn’t feel like a story with an open ending if He would just hurt me without fucking me afterwards. I like it best this way tbh, but I don’t -need- it. I don’t know if it’s the same for Him.

Hm yea… that’s all that I can think of at the moment about this.

*******
@keepingher… – Did I get this right or did I miss something?

It’s not a prize, nor is it intended as torture. It’s a culminating act of taking her for my own pleasure (not that it has to end that way – I’ll decide). It’s to remind her that I own her completely, and she has no say in when or how I make use of her. It tells her that no part of her is beyond my reach, and that she’s completely in my control. Whether she’s enjoying herself or not in this situation is irrelevant. If it’s causing pain, she will endure it for me. If it brings her pleasure, she’d better make the most of it. I’ll take what’s mine and she has no say in it because she’s MINE, not her own.

Also, it feels good to shoot my load into her 🙂