I seem to be stuck. My husband of almost a year (but have been together for four years) has moved away from being dominant. I understand that adjusting to a new job can be difficult; what I don’t understand that it’s three months and I still feel like I’m an object. He only pleases himself with me when he’s needs it. However, he’s stopped dominating me the way I need. What should I do? I’ve been honest with how I feel, but there hasn’t been any changes. How do I change him perspective?

sadisticgames:

There is a difference between being used in a bdsm scene/relationship and just plain being used.

When you want your partner to use you as an object it’s within a set of expectations.

The dominant may being using the sub, but they are including things to fill out their subs fantasy.

Example, if you want to have your hair grabbed, you want to be talked dirty to, you want to wear something, but your partner just bends you over, gets themselves off, and walks away…..

While that may be someones fantasy, it wasn’t yours. So you aren’t being used within your fantasy, you’re just being used.

How do you end it? Take yourself out of the equation. Doesn’t matter if it’s a scene partner, your boyfried, girlfriend, partner of 50 years.

If you aren’t being used the way you want, make it clear that you won’t be used at all until they start listening and using you the way that you actually want to be used.